Well, hello there.

What the fuck is wrong with gay people? with people in GENERAL.

I AM NOT UGLY! I'm not ugly. I'm not fat. So what the hell IS wrong with me?!?! What's more frustrating than constantly being turned down for fucking jesus christ knows why. I think I'm doing alright and then FUCK blows up in my face and somebody stupid makes me feel like shit. FOR WHY? I. don't. know.

"got a notion, I've been takin' a lot without givin' back.
You gotta to give to get, you gotta give to get back to the love."

am I ugly? Do gay people think I'm wretched for somer eason? Do I not fit in in Seattle? is this some sort of cosmic signal to me that I need to get out?

What if I leave? What if I move someplace else and find nothing but trouble and hard times there too? I mean, I haven't found all trouble and hard times here in Seattle, but... I donno. I'm in a dry spell. DRY SPELL.

I want to make this fucking blog look like I WANT IT TO LOOK. Goddamnit, Goddamnit! I'M FRANTIC I'M FRANTIC! FRANTIC! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!

(will I ever be happy with the answer until I hear what I think I need to hear, that I'm unattractive?)