I've always known this.

I've always known that my emotions change like the wind. I also feel like my first instinct is the right one, even though sometimes I override it and go with whatever whim I'm feeling.

But when I comes to boys or emotions, I almost always override. That's because usually my gut tells me "No, don't bother." but either my body or my brain are saying "Stop being such a pussy! Try it! you'll like it!"

So I am almost always overly cautious when I have an initial feeling for someone. The course of action is that it burns hot for a few days, I'm really excited about it, and then I don't sense any sort of reciprocation.

HERE'S WHERE THE DEVIATION USUALLY OCCURS: I'll either let myself go crazy and try to be around the person a LOT, which I was right in the first place and they weren't interested... ORRRrrrr, I just disappear and never talk to them again and they do the same. In this case I always want to go back later and say "Sooooo what was the deal? You never tried to talk to me again. Was I that bad? Or just not interesting or what?" But I never do. Seattle doesn't allow for that.

You gotsta take what you can from each situation and... move on. live, learn, and keep on going. More fish in the sea. Plenty of 'em... not as many that would actually interest me to a certain extent, but... Keep on, right on.


To play us out, Silicone Soul with "Right On"
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When I walk, I walk the line.
And I take, I take what's mine.
And I ain't so high that I can fall.
and I ain't so low that I can crawl.

LIFE'S TO SHORT TO THROW IT ALL AWAY.
Your love is too high a price to pay.

When you talk
Just say you're mine
And I know - cause I feel - that it's true
You let your love light shine
And I ain't so high
That I can't fall
And I ain't so low
That I can crawl.