mood.

I've been pretty pissy for the last several days.

I've been thinking about it, trying to come up with a reason why I feel that way.

I'm hyper sensitive. Meaning it takes the TINIEST little thing to set the ball rolling down-hill.

I still feel like I'm trying to find out where I fit in, who my friends are, and who I can count on. I ALWAYS feel differently when I'm alone vs. when I'm with my true friends. My friends always brighten my mood and always make me laugh and smile. On the other hand there are acquaintances that don't make me feel good when I'm around them. They aren't mean to me, I just don't feel like I belong there. I haven't got anything constructive to add to their conversations, and don't know how to break into them.

What's ridiculous is that I KNOW I'm funny, I'm smart, I'm relatively good looking (at least I ain't busted!) and people want me around, I just don't know what I want from them to make me feel like it!! Do I need to start making a more focused effort to get in touch with them first?

I don't feel like I really connect with much of anybody lately. Living in Seattle has really made me want to ensure I want to keep to myself. My ego has been bruised far too many times for me to recover here.

I think I just need some reflection time alone to figure out what the real problems are, and to somehow figure out what I'm doing wrong or what it is that I haven't discovered within me that is causing such strife.

I need to get away and just think. but then I need to actually come back.