I wonder if anybody else knows about this? As far as I know my roommate and I thought of it.. but it was like a collective conscious thing, too. Probably the same thought most of the world has had.
THE BEAUTY/UGLY CIRCLE.
There's a microscopic line where ugly and beautiful merge. I'm not talking mediocrity here. I mean the ugliest of the ugly and the most beautiful of the beautiful. It's like two bombs are flying at eachother and when they collide, that's where the two definitions meet. A great explosion occurs and a ball of flames and light emits and shines SO bright we're all dazzled and horrified by it's brilliance and destructive capabilities.
There's a point where someone is so gorgeous they're teetering on the line being SOOO ugly. (Speaking as a representative of american stereotypes here for the moment) They are So drop-dead gorgeous that... wait a minute.. is there something fucked up about them that you can't put your finger on, it's just not. quite. right? Well that's it, that line, that fine line. They're so close, yet SO far away.
But once you've crossed that line, you are into the superugly. It shares some of the qualities of the super-beautiful, such as the mesmerising quality, the inability to look away, and the sheer rarity of the condition.
So this begs the question, can someone cross that line either way upon will, or must they be thrown from one side to the other against their will? Can the super-beautiful be pushed to the super-ugly? If so, can they come back, or must they work their way around the circle again? Is this circle existant only in the minds of superficial Americans? Is it international? Can the super-ugly be thrust upon the super-beautiful qualities on the other side of that line? Can they stay there, or does it wax and wane with the tides and cycles of the moon?
I wonder all of this. Tonight I saw a picture of someone who's not close to that line, but just at the perfect point of the border of Beautiful/Super-Beautiful. he's just ideal looking I guess. He's straight, I'm gay. I'm not saying I lust after him, but perhaps I'm jealous of him? Beacuse I believe I'm not firmly planted in the middle of any one of the classifications.
I think that between every classification there lies a miniscule opportunity for the categories to meet and to produce that "Wait, something's just not quite right.. I can't put my finger on it, though...." reaction. I think I'm right on that line. I don't think I'm ugly by any means. I think I'm definitely on the up-side of the circle moving up towards good looking, but just on the border of average and good looking so something's just not quite right. Maybe. I don't know. That's how I feel, anyway.
Regardless, I want to tell this person I saw how I feel about them, yet I hesitate. A) I don't want said individual to think I'm hitting on them or trying to get into their pants. B) I don't want to inflate their ego if they have one, which I am unaware. I think if everybody, or even the majority, was more forthcoming with their thoughts and feelings about people, we'd find we didn't feel so alone in this world (if you do.)
I should pass out more of these compliments, but I find that I hesitate due to fear of rejection. Rejection of what? I could see someone on the street and think "God, she's brilliant." and even though I'm not attracted to her in a lust way (I like not the poussez!) I can still appreciate her beauty!
World, this is my request. Lets all start paying eachother the compliments. Maybe we'll find that perfect someone who thought "Wow, I thought the same thing about you but was too afraid to say anything." and make some really great friends. You never know. •Here in Seattle, you also may get maced because people can be that insecure and rigid about public conversation, so be warned!•
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