You don't even know!

Communication breakdown central!

That's what everything is, a breakdown in communication. Everything's a secret. There's so much that we're not willing to share with others. Why can't we share with people how we feel? The ones who need to know the most?

I know that I have trouble telling people how I feel and talking about emotions and feelings. I could say first and foremost because I don't want to cause that person pain in knowing that they hurt my feelings when they didn't intend to do so. I think the second fear is that if I tell someone how I feel, and they feel bad for hurting me, they'll go away.

LOOK ALEX YOU'VE GOT AN ABANDONMENT ISSUE! Yeah. most likely. I don't feel like I can count on anybody and I always feel like they're going to go away before I'm ready for that.

I keep taking chances, I go out when I'm dragged out, I go places that I'm supposed to go because I know that's what I'm supposed to do, but I don't really care anymore.

I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be with anyone. Wow, what a predicament to be in. How to fix, how to fix.